August 31, 2009
Potentially Enlightening Thought
FailThoughts may or may not be brought back to life, depending on the whims of Jennifer [and her level of boredom].
June 5, 2009
May 29, 2009
Enlightening Thought #34
Life is what you make of it.
So stop wasting your life reading this blog.
Go outside and play.
It's summertime, bitches.
May 24, 2009
May 22, 2009
Enlightening Thought #32
Well, as of an hour ago, I am an official high school graduate. I've worn my cap and gown through the desert rain, received my diploma, and moved my tassel from the right to the left side of my cap. Whoopdeedoo. In the process, I was slighted throughout the ceremony a couple times. First, I wasn't recognized for having worked as a part of the Sounds of the Community Kids program, despite the fact that I was a member of the original group, before it branched out and expanded. Second, I was not listed as a member of National Honors Society. And the list continues... [Woohoo, being a petty little bitch!]
And that's when it hit me:
Okay, so I guess the transition was kind of rough [And by that, I mean nonexistent. I kind of jumped straight from my sob story to the moral, with no explanation in between...], but guess what? I'm way too damned tired to explain it to you. Once again, I'm too busy caring about my pathetic life to make this thought more clear.
Once again, nobody cares about my pathetic life to help me, because they're busy bettering their own pathetic lives. And because I'm too busy attempting to better my life, I don't have the time to better your life beyond the point of writing the blog.
It is, quite simply, a production possibilities curve.
Imagine that Good X is "bettering my life" and Good Y is "bettering your life." We're somewhere on the curve between Point D and Point F.
And with that last tidbit of knowledge, I throw you to the wolves, for I am off to care about my stupid self.
And that's when it hit me:
Nobody gives a shit about you. They're too busy caring about themselves.
Okay, so I guess the transition was kind of rough [And by that, I mean nonexistent. I kind of jumped straight from my sob story to the moral, with no explanation in between...], but guess what? I'm way too damned tired to explain it to you. Once again, I'm too busy caring about my pathetic life to make this thought more clear.
Once again, nobody cares about my pathetic life to help me, because they're busy bettering their own pathetic lives. And because I'm too busy attempting to better my life, I don't have the time to better your life beyond the point of writing the blog.
It is, quite simply, a production possibilities curve.
Imagine that Good X is "bettering my life" and Good Y is "bettering your life." We're somewhere on the curve between Point D and Point F.
And with that last tidbit of knowledge, I throw you to the wolves, for I am off to care about my stupid self.
May 20, 2009
Enlightening Thought #31
Otherwise titled as "Why This Blog Has Not Been Updated."
Recall the past few LONG, LONG, LONG weeks - the nights staying up, literally doing homework (this means no Facebook!) until 3 in the morning and the exhausting hours of that mindless activity they call "learning." Bring back that feeling of being awake for so long that feeling tired isn't even an option. Think about how terrible it was to attempt to type this entry when running on 2 hours of sleep. Picture the disgusting texture of fried brain cortex and the dark eye-circles resulting from a lack of sleep, falling up the stairs and hallucinating miniature alien invasions. Oh wait, that's just me.
So tonight, I am going to go to sleep.
Yes. Sleep. (Revel in the goodness of the word.)
And realize that
So I'll weigh out my options (and you should too!):
1. Stay up all night studying for tomorrow's tests.
2. GO TO BED.
If we're going to fail anyway, why not be awake when it happens?
Zzzzzz...
Recall the past few LONG, LONG, LONG weeks - the nights staying up, literally doing homework (this means no Facebook!) until 3 in the morning and the exhausting hours of that mindless activity they call "learning." Bring back that feeling of being awake for so long that feeling tired isn't even an option. Think about how terrible it was to attempt to type this entry when running on 2 hours of sleep. Picture the disgusting texture of fried brain cortex and the dark eye-circles resulting from a lack of sleep, falling up the stairs and hallucinating miniature alien invasions. Oh wait, that's just me.
So tonight, I am going to go to sleep.
Yes. Sleep. (Revel in the goodness of the word.)
And realize that
SLEEP IS GOOD.
So I'll weigh out my options (and you should too!):
1. Stay up all night studying for tomorrow's tests.
2. GO TO BED.
If we're going to fail anyway, why not be awake when it happens?
Zzzzzz...
May 14, 2009
Enlightening Thought #30
These were today's musical activities:
3:00 - 4:30 - Chamber ensemble rehearsal
4:30 - 5 - Practice cello for symphony orchestra.
5:15 - 5:35 - Practice violin for chamber ensemble.
6:00 - 7:00 - Chamber & Orchestra call time. More rehearsing.
7:00 - 7:20 - Chamber ensemble performance.
8:00 - 8:30 - Symphony orchestra performance.
That adds up to a total of 4 hours and 10 minutes of musical goodness today. Also, that's disregarding the additional 40 minutes of listening to other performers and ensembles. That's over 1/6th of a 24-hour day, and 1/3rd of my 12 hours of being awake! You know what I learned from this?
Yup, I said it. I love music and all... But today was overkill.
This rule applies not just to music, but for anything else you experience in life and every other action. Actually, you can't have too much sex. But be sure to watch your dosage for everything else.
3:00 - 4:30 - Chamber ensemble rehearsal
4:30 - 5 - Practice cello for symphony orchestra.
5:15 - 5:35 - Practice violin for chamber ensemble.
6:00 - 7:00 - Chamber & Orchestra call time. More rehearsing.
7:00 - 7:20 - Chamber ensemble performance.
8:00 - 8:30 - Symphony orchestra performance.
That adds up to a total of 4 hours and 10 minutes of musical goodness today. Also, that's disregarding the additional 40 minutes of listening to other performers and ensembles. That's over 1/6th of a 24-hour day, and 1/3rd of my 12 hours of being awake! You know what I learned from this?
Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Yup, I said it. I love music and all... But today was overkill.
This rule applies not just to music, but for anything else you experience in life and every other action. Actually, you can't have too much sex. But be sure to watch your dosage for everything else.
May 13, 2009
Enlightening Thought #29
Time freezes as you hold your breath. Though your life has stopped, frozen in this moment, the rest of the world moves on without acknowledging your presence. Little papercuts dot your heart, but the pain is excusable in the presence of greater human needs. You bite your lip and fight the urge to collapse, the desire to wrap yourself up within the empty shell of your body. The triviality of the matter escapes the attention of those who pass by, but to you, it is as real as the cold concrete floor you stand upon. It's just a little prick and it's healing already, but an open wound is an open wound. The worst part is knowing you brought it upon yourself.
So you walk outside as the breeze sweeps up your hair, and the wind whispers in your ear that it's okay. That everything will be alright - though the frost bites and the leaves fall, Spring will return again. And you sit down on an empty bench, bringing your knees up to your face. The sun glares angrily into your eyes and you feel the rush of tears burning behind them.
A swirl of leaves wraps you in its embrace and you fall prey to your weakness. The air stirs and says to you that
And the sobs take over as the streams of tears fall down. They are endless, flowing for what seems to be an eternity. You finally run out of air and the droplets come to a stop. Opening your tired eyes to observe the world before you, you once again realize its intense, radiant beauty. The icicles reflect brightly, the sun shines warm. Wind whistles happily through the empty branches and the grass peeks out from underneath a thin blanket of snow.
You smile, because you know:
You are free. You are forgiven.
And you are alright.
So you walk outside as the breeze sweeps up your hair, and the wind whispers in your ear that it's okay. That everything will be alright - though the frost bites and the leaves fall, Spring will return again. And you sit down on an empty bench, bringing your knees up to your face. The sun glares angrily into your eyes and you feel the rush of tears burning behind them.
A swirl of leaves wraps you in its embrace and you fall prey to your weakness. The air stirs and says to you that
It's okay to let it all out.
And the sobs take over as the streams of tears fall down. They are endless, flowing for what seems to be an eternity. You finally run out of air and the droplets come to a stop. Opening your tired eyes to observe the world before you, you once again realize its intense, radiant beauty. The icicles reflect brightly, the sun shines warm. Wind whistles happily through the empty branches and the grass peeks out from underneath a thin blanket of snow.
You smile, because you know:
You are free. You are forgiven.
And you are alright.
May 10, 2009
Enlightening Thought #28
Okay, so I'm going to break out of the typical format for a change, and present the following ideas in list format!
But first, the advice is this:
Thus, the following examples are some banned activities:
1. Play beer pong with apple juice instead of beer. If you're not actually playing with alcoholic beverages, the entire point of the game is absent. (This is not to say that the writers of FailThoughts condone underage drinking. To be honest, we discourage you from doing so.)
2. Dance in public if nobody else is dancing, especially when you're a shitty dancer.
3. Talk about people as if you knew them really well, when you really don't.
Actually, those prior three examples can all be condensed into an entire new piece of advice!
Well, it may work for a while, but like Merope and Tom Riddle, Sr from Harry Potter 6... But ultimately, you're doomed for failure.
And for those fools who are unfamiliar with the story, the gist of it is this:
Merope loves Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle doesn't love Merope.
Merope gives Tom Riddle a love potion.
Tom Riddle loves Merope.
Merope fools herself into thinking that Tom's love is genuine.
Merope stops giving Riddle the potion.
Tom leaves Merope.
Merope is left single, dirt-poor, and pregnant.
Don't be like Merope. Don't try to be cool if you're not.
Just be yourself.
But first, the advice is this:
Don't pretend to be cool if you aren't.
Thus, the following examples are some banned activities:
1. Play beer pong with apple juice instead of beer. If you're not actually playing with alcoholic beverages, the entire point of the game is absent. (This is not to say that the writers of FailThoughts condone underage drinking. To be honest, we discourage you from doing so.)
2. Dance in public if nobody else is dancing, especially when you're a shitty dancer.
3. Talk about people as if you knew them really well, when you really don't.
Actually, those prior three examples can all be condensed into an entire new piece of advice!
You won't impress anybody if you're not acting like yourself.
Well, it may work for a while, but like Merope and Tom Riddle, Sr from Harry Potter 6... But ultimately, you're doomed for failure.
And for those fools who are unfamiliar with the story, the gist of it is this:
Merope loves Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle doesn't love Merope.
Merope gives Tom Riddle a love potion.
Tom Riddle loves Merope.
Merope fools herself into thinking that Tom's love is genuine.
Merope stops giving Riddle the potion.
Tom leaves Merope.
Merope is left single, dirt-poor, and pregnant.
Don't be like Merope. Don't try to be cool if you're not.
Just be yourself.
May 9, 2009
Enlightening Thought #27
Recently, headlines have spilled out that have sparked some controversy. The focus is centered around the problem of obesity. Considering 40% of people in the United States are morbidly obese, you are probably one of them. And you better stop eating and start running, now.
The Golden Rule: If it looks good, don't eat it.
According to research and some common sense, and to put it bluntly, fat people are destroying the planet. Food production is a major contributor to global warming. If you shut your mouth once in a while and stopped stuffing it with unhealthy junk, the polar bears (along with the rest of us) would definitely appreciate it. Studies have also proven that since fat people breathe more heavily, they generate more carbon dioxide. When the amount of CO2 generated by fat people is greater than the amount of CO2 inhaled by trees, the rest of the world has to deal with the leftover shit. Think about it - fat people actually overproduce green house gases. This calls for a "wtf" moment. Wtf?
The moral of the story is:
So unless your obesity is actually a result of a hypothalamus defect, please, just stop eating so much. Think of the children and the future generations of people who could be living in a dire world of pollutants that are a result of fat people emissions. Please consider their health.
Thank you.
The Golden Rule: If it looks good, don't eat it.
According to research and some common sense, and to put it bluntly, fat people are destroying the planet. Food production is a major contributor to global warming. If you shut your mouth once in a while and stopped stuffing it with unhealthy junk, the polar bears (along with the rest of us) would definitely appreciate it. Studies have also proven that since fat people breathe more heavily, they generate more carbon dioxide. When the amount of CO2 generated by fat people is greater than the amount of CO2 inhaled by trees, the rest of the world has to deal with the leftover shit. Think about it - fat people actually overproduce green house gases. This calls for a "wtf" moment. Wtf?
The moral of the story is:
Don't be a fatass.
So unless your obesity is actually a result of a hypothalamus defect, please, just stop eating so much. Think of the children and the future generations of people who could be living in a dire world of pollutants that are a result of fat people emissions. Please consider their health.
Thank you.
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