Enlightening Thought #31

Otherwise titled as "Why This Blog Has Not Been Updated."

Recall the past few LONG, LONG, LONG weeks - the nights staying up, literally doing homework (this means no Facebook!) until 3 in the morning and the exhausting hours of that mindless activity they call "learning." Bring back that feeling of being awake for so long that feeling tired isn't even an option. Think about how terrible it was to attempt to type this entry when running on 2 hours of sleep. Picture the disgusting texture of fried brain cortex and the dark eye-circles resulting from a lack of sleep, falling up the stairs and hallucinating miniature alien invasions. Oh wait, that's just me.

So tonight, I am going to go to sleep.

Yes. Sleep. (Revel in the goodness of the word.)
And realize that

SLEEP IS GOOD.

So I'll weigh out my options (and you should too!):
1. Stay up all night studying for tomorrow's tests.
2. GO TO BED.

If we're going to fail anyway, why not be awake when it happens?

Zzzzzz...

Enlightening Thought #29

Time freezes as you hold your breath. Though your life has stopped, frozen in this moment, the rest of the world moves on without acknowledging your presence. Little papercuts dot your heart, but the pain is excusable in the presence of greater human needs. You bite your lip and fight the urge to collapse, the desire to wrap yourself up within the empty shell of your body. The triviality of the matter escapes the attention of those who pass by, but to you, it is as real as the cold concrete floor you stand upon. It's just a little prick and it's healing already, but an open wound is an open wound. The worst part is knowing you brought it upon yourself.

So you walk outside as the breeze sweeps up your hair, and the wind whispers in your ear that it's okay. That everything will be alright - though the frost bites and the leaves fall, Spring will return again. And you sit down on an empty bench, bringing your knees up to your face. The sun glares angrily into your eyes and you feel the rush of tears burning behind them.

A swirl of leaves wraps you in its embrace and you fall prey to your weakness. The air stirs and says to you that

It's okay to let it all out.

And the sobs take over as the streams of tears fall down. They are endless, flowing for what seems to be an eternity. You finally run out of air and the droplets come to a stop. Opening your tired eyes to observe the world before you, you once again realize its intense, radiant beauty. The icicles reflect brightly, the sun shines warm. Wind whistles happily through the empty branches and the grass peeks out from underneath a thin blanket of snow.



You smile, because you know:

You are free. You are forgiven.

And you are alright.

Enlightening Thought #2

So it's nearing midnight, which normally isn't late for me (but that's just because I have a terrible sleep schedule). And all these thoughts are running through my mind...

And then, an epiphany:

Sometimes, you just have to let go.

Those thoughts about your upcoming interview, AP exams, prom, taxes, walking the dog, dropping the kids off at daycare... Ignore them. Empower (and enlighten) yourself and sleep for once! (It isn't only for the weak).

So, I guess it's time for me to take my own advice.