August 31, 2009
Potentially Enlightening Thought
FailThoughts may or may not be brought back to life, depending on the whims of Jennifer [and her level of boredom].
June 5, 2009
May 29, 2009
Enlightening Thought #34
Life is what you make of it.
So stop wasting your life reading this blog.
Go outside and play.
It's summertime, bitches.
May 24, 2009
May 22, 2009
Enlightening Thought #32
Well, as of an hour ago, I am an official high school graduate. I've worn my cap and gown through the desert rain, received my diploma, and moved my tassel from the right to the left side of my cap. Whoopdeedoo. In the process, I was slighted throughout the ceremony a couple times. First, I wasn't recognized for having worked as a part of the Sounds of the Community Kids program, despite the fact that I was a member of the original group, before it branched out and expanded. Second, I was not listed as a member of National Honors Society. And the list continues... [Woohoo, being a petty little bitch!]
And that's when it hit me:
Okay, so I guess the transition was kind of rough [And by that, I mean nonexistent. I kind of jumped straight from my sob story to the moral, with no explanation in between...], but guess what? I'm way too damned tired to explain it to you. Once again, I'm too busy caring about my pathetic life to make this thought more clear.
Once again, nobody cares about my pathetic life to help me, because they're busy bettering their own pathetic lives. And because I'm too busy attempting to better my life, I don't have the time to better your life beyond the point of writing the blog.
It is, quite simply, a production possibilities curve.
Imagine that Good X is "bettering my life" and Good Y is "bettering your life." We're somewhere on the curve between Point D and Point F.
And with that last tidbit of knowledge, I throw you to the wolves, for I am off to care about my stupid self.
And that's when it hit me:
Nobody gives a shit about you. They're too busy caring about themselves.
Okay, so I guess the transition was kind of rough [And by that, I mean nonexistent. I kind of jumped straight from my sob story to the moral, with no explanation in between...], but guess what? I'm way too damned tired to explain it to you. Once again, I'm too busy caring about my pathetic life to make this thought more clear.
Once again, nobody cares about my pathetic life to help me, because they're busy bettering their own pathetic lives. And because I'm too busy attempting to better my life, I don't have the time to better your life beyond the point of writing the blog.
It is, quite simply, a production possibilities curve.
Imagine that Good X is "bettering my life" and Good Y is "bettering your life." We're somewhere on the curve between Point D and Point F.
And with that last tidbit of knowledge, I throw you to the wolves, for I am off to care about my stupid self.
May 20, 2009
Enlightening Thought #31
Otherwise titled as "Why This Blog Has Not Been Updated."
Recall the past few LONG, LONG, LONG weeks - the nights staying up, literally doing homework (this means no Facebook!) until 3 in the morning and the exhausting hours of that mindless activity they call "learning." Bring back that feeling of being awake for so long that feeling tired isn't even an option. Think about how terrible it was to attempt to type this entry when running on 2 hours of sleep. Picture the disgusting texture of fried brain cortex and the dark eye-circles resulting from a lack of sleep, falling up the stairs and hallucinating miniature alien invasions. Oh wait, that's just me.
So tonight, I am going to go to sleep.
Yes. Sleep. (Revel in the goodness of the word.)
And realize that
So I'll weigh out my options (and you should too!):
1. Stay up all night studying for tomorrow's tests.
2. GO TO BED.
If we're going to fail anyway, why not be awake when it happens?
Zzzzzz...
Recall the past few LONG, LONG, LONG weeks - the nights staying up, literally doing homework (this means no Facebook!) until 3 in the morning and the exhausting hours of that mindless activity they call "learning." Bring back that feeling of being awake for so long that feeling tired isn't even an option. Think about how terrible it was to attempt to type this entry when running on 2 hours of sleep. Picture the disgusting texture of fried brain cortex and the dark eye-circles resulting from a lack of sleep, falling up the stairs and hallucinating miniature alien invasions. Oh wait, that's just me.
So tonight, I am going to go to sleep.
Yes. Sleep. (Revel in the goodness of the word.)
And realize that
SLEEP IS GOOD.
So I'll weigh out my options (and you should too!):
1. Stay up all night studying for tomorrow's tests.
2. GO TO BED.
If we're going to fail anyway, why not be awake when it happens?
Zzzzzz...
May 14, 2009
Enlightening Thought #30
These were today's musical activities:
3:00 - 4:30 - Chamber ensemble rehearsal
4:30 - 5 - Practice cello for symphony orchestra.
5:15 - 5:35 - Practice violin for chamber ensemble.
6:00 - 7:00 - Chamber & Orchestra call time. More rehearsing.
7:00 - 7:20 - Chamber ensemble performance.
8:00 - 8:30 - Symphony orchestra performance.
That adds up to a total of 4 hours and 10 minutes of musical goodness today. Also, that's disregarding the additional 40 minutes of listening to other performers and ensembles. That's over 1/6th of a 24-hour day, and 1/3rd of my 12 hours of being awake! You know what I learned from this?
Yup, I said it. I love music and all... But today was overkill.
This rule applies not just to music, but for anything else you experience in life and every other action. Actually, you can't have too much sex. But be sure to watch your dosage for everything else.
3:00 - 4:30 - Chamber ensemble rehearsal
4:30 - 5 - Practice cello for symphony orchestra.
5:15 - 5:35 - Practice violin for chamber ensemble.
6:00 - 7:00 - Chamber & Orchestra call time. More rehearsing.
7:00 - 7:20 - Chamber ensemble performance.
8:00 - 8:30 - Symphony orchestra performance.
That adds up to a total of 4 hours and 10 minutes of musical goodness today. Also, that's disregarding the additional 40 minutes of listening to other performers and ensembles. That's over 1/6th of a 24-hour day, and 1/3rd of my 12 hours of being awake! You know what I learned from this?
Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Yup, I said it. I love music and all... But today was overkill.
This rule applies not just to music, but for anything else you experience in life and every other action. Actually, you can't have too much sex. But be sure to watch your dosage for everything else.
May 13, 2009
Enlightening Thought #29
Time freezes as you hold your breath. Though your life has stopped, frozen in this moment, the rest of the world moves on without acknowledging your presence. Little papercuts dot your heart, but the pain is excusable in the presence of greater human needs. You bite your lip and fight the urge to collapse, the desire to wrap yourself up within the empty shell of your body. The triviality of the matter escapes the attention of those who pass by, but to you, it is as real as the cold concrete floor you stand upon. It's just a little prick and it's healing already, but an open wound is an open wound. The worst part is knowing you brought it upon yourself.
So you walk outside as the breeze sweeps up your hair, and the wind whispers in your ear that it's okay. That everything will be alright - though the frost bites and the leaves fall, Spring will return again. And you sit down on an empty bench, bringing your knees up to your face. The sun glares angrily into your eyes and you feel the rush of tears burning behind them.
A swirl of leaves wraps you in its embrace and you fall prey to your weakness. The air stirs and says to you that
And the sobs take over as the streams of tears fall down. They are endless, flowing for what seems to be an eternity. You finally run out of air and the droplets come to a stop. Opening your tired eyes to observe the world before you, you once again realize its intense, radiant beauty. The icicles reflect brightly, the sun shines warm. Wind whistles happily through the empty branches and the grass peeks out from underneath a thin blanket of snow.
You smile, because you know:
You are free. You are forgiven.
And you are alright.
So you walk outside as the breeze sweeps up your hair, and the wind whispers in your ear that it's okay. That everything will be alright - though the frost bites and the leaves fall, Spring will return again. And you sit down on an empty bench, bringing your knees up to your face. The sun glares angrily into your eyes and you feel the rush of tears burning behind them.
A swirl of leaves wraps you in its embrace and you fall prey to your weakness. The air stirs and says to you that
It's okay to let it all out.
And the sobs take over as the streams of tears fall down. They are endless, flowing for what seems to be an eternity. You finally run out of air and the droplets come to a stop. Opening your tired eyes to observe the world before you, you once again realize its intense, radiant beauty. The icicles reflect brightly, the sun shines warm. Wind whistles happily through the empty branches and the grass peeks out from underneath a thin blanket of snow.
You smile, because you know:
You are free. You are forgiven.
And you are alright.
May 10, 2009
Enlightening Thought #28
Okay, so I'm going to break out of the typical format for a change, and present the following ideas in list format!
But first, the advice is this:
Thus, the following examples are some banned activities:
1. Play beer pong with apple juice instead of beer. If you're not actually playing with alcoholic beverages, the entire point of the game is absent. (This is not to say that the writers of FailThoughts condone underage drinking. To be honest, we discourage you from doing so.)
2. Dance in public if nobody else is dancing, especially when you're a shitty dancer.
3. Talk about people as if you knew them really well, when you really don't.
Actually, those prior three examples can all be condensed into an entire new piece of advice!
Well, it may work for a while, but like Merope and Tom Riddle, Sr from Harry Potter 6... But ultimately, you're doomed for failure.
And for those fools who are unfamiliar with the story, the gist of it is this:
Merope loves Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle doesn't love Merope.
Merope gives Tom Riddle a love potion.
Tom Riddle loves Merope.
Merope fools herself into thinking that Tom's love is genuine.
Merope stops giving Riddle the potion.
Tom leaves Merope.
Merope is left single, dirt-poor, and pregnant.
Don't be like Merope. Don't try to be cool if you're not.
Just be yourself.
But first, the advice is this:
Don't pretend to be cool if you aren't.
Thus, the following examples are some banned activities:
1. Play beer pong with apple juice instead of beer. If you're not actually playing with alcoholic beverages, the entire point of the game is absent. (This is not to say that the writers of FailThoughts condone underage drinking. To be honest, we discourage you from doing so.)
2. Dance in public if nobody else is dancing, especially when you're a shitty dancer.
3. Talk about people as if you knew them really well, when you really don't.
Actually, those prior three examples can all be condensed into an entire new piece of advice!
You won't impress anybody if you're not acting like yourself.
Well, it may work for a while, but like Merope and Tom Riddle, Sr from Harry Potter 6... But ultimately, you're doomed for failure.
And for those fools who are unfamiliar with the story, the gist of it is this:
Merope loves Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle doesn't love Merope.
Merope gives Tom Riddle a love potion.
Tom Riddle loves Merope.
Merope fools herself into thinking that Tom's love is genuine.
Merope stops giving Riddle the potion.
Tom leaves Merope.
Merope is left single, dirt-poor, and pregnant.
Don't be like Merope. Don't try to be cool if you're not.
Just be yourself.
May 9, 2009
Enlightening Thought #27
Recently, headlines have spilled out that have sparked some controversy. The focus is centered around the problem of obesity. Considering 40% of people in the United States are morbidly obese, you are probably one of them. And you better stop eating and start running, now.
The Golden Rule: If it looks good, don't eat it.
According to research and some common sense, and to put it bluntly, fat people are destroying the planet. Food production is a major contributor to global warming. If you shut your mouth once in a while and stopped stuffing it with unhealthy junk, the polar bears (along with the rest of us) would definitely appreciate it. Studies have also proven that since fat people breathe more heavily, they generate more carbon dioxide. When the amount of CO2 generated by fat people is greater than the amount of CO2 inhaled by trees, the rest of the world has to deal with the leftover shit. Think about it - fat people actually overproduce green house gases. This calls for a "wtf" moment. Wtf?
The moral of the story is:
So unless your obesity is actually a result of a hypothalamus defect, please, just stop eating so much. Think of the children and the future generations of people who could be living in a dire world of pollutants that are a result of fat people emissions. Please consider their health.
Thank you.
The Golden Rule: If it looks good, don't eat it.
According to research and some common sense, and to put it bluntly, fat people are destroying the planet. Food production is a major contributor to global warming. If you shut your mouth once in a while and stopped stuffing it with unhealthy junk, the polar bears (along with the rest of us) would definitely appreciate it. Studies have also proven that since fat people breathe more heavily, they generate more carbon dioxide. When the amount of CO2 generated by fat people is greater than the amount of CO2 inhaled by trees, the rest of the world has to deal with the leftover shit. Think about it - fat people actually overproduce green house gases. This calls for a "wtf" moment. Wtf?
The moral of the story is:
Don't be a fatass.
So unless your obesity is actually a result of a hypothalamus defect, please, just stop eating so much. Think of the children and the future generations of people who could be living in a dire world of pollutants that are a result of fat people emissions. Please consider their health.
Thank you.
May 7, 2009
Enlightening Thought #26
As a graduating senior, I've been thinking more and more about my years in school, about the relationships I've built up or torn down, about the people I never got to know, the things I never experienced...
But then I realize that I have seven more days of high school. Thinking about what I have missed out is getting me absolutely nowhere at all. It is, quite simply, too late.
So don't bother with regret. Don't think or dwell on the past. Thinking about your shitty life will only make your life more shitty.
But then I realize that I have seven more days of high school. Thinking about what I have missed out is getting me absolutely nowhere at all. It is, quite simply, too late.
So don't bother with regret. Don't think or dwell on the past. Thinking about your shitty life will only make your life more shitty.
Just live your life and don't look back.
May 5, 2009
Enlightening Thought #25
Have you heard the story of the paper bag princess? If you haven't, here it is in all of its glory. (Actually, this is a re-telling from my memory, and possibly not completely accurate.) The paper bag has also been replaced with an IKEA bag.
Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a galaxy far, far away. She was destined to marry a very, very, very good-looking prince, who had never read Enlightening Thought #1 and thus did not understand that there was much more to life than just being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. So one day, while they were sitting around doing nothing, because that's what people in fairy tales do, a very angry dragon (we aren't sure why he was angry, but he was) swooped into the kingdom and destroyed everything, including the clothes they were wearing. The princess had no choice but to wear an IKEA bag. The prince was devastated because all of his material possessions had been burned to ashes. The dragon locked him up in the dungeon, where he wept tears of sorrow and pity and felt sorry for himself. The princess, on the other hand, came up with some amazing tricks and outwitted the dragon by having him fly around the world a couple of times and do other outrageous things. When he finally finished all of her tasks, he dropped down into an exhausted heap and fell into a very deep sleep (and possibly into the same realm that Sleeping Beauty dwells in). The princess, exhausted and weary and covered with dragon breath, went to rescue her prince in distress. The prince, still bleary-eyed and upset about his losses, took one look at the princess and turned up his nose, announcing that he shall not be rescued until she looked more princess-y and better suited his tastes. At this point, the princess realized what a jerk the prince was, and ditched his sorry ass. She lived happily ever after with her best friend, Jennifer.
The end.
The moral of the story? (There are two!)
1. If he's a materialistic jerk, don't waste your time.
Paper bags are actually worse than plastic bags when it comes to the environment. They generate 70% more air and 50 times more water pollutants than plastic bags, and take 84 times more energy to recycle than a plastic bag. The best thing to do would be to avoid both plastic and paper bags, and opt for a reusable bag!
Do your part to get rid of the superficial idiots in the world, and help save the environment too!
Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a galaxy far, far away. She was destined to marry a very, very, very good-looking prince, who had never read Enlightening Thought #1 and thus did not understand that there was much more to life than just being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. So one day, while they were sitting around doing nothing, because that's what people in fairy tales do, a very angry dragon (we aren't sure why he was angry, but he was) swooped into the kingdom and destroyed everything, including the clothes they were wearing. The princess had no choice but to wear an IKEA bag. The prince was devastated because all of his material possessions had been burned to ashes. The dragon locked him up in the dungeon, where he wept tears of sorrow and pity and felt sorry for himself. The princess, on the other hand, came up with some amazing tricks and outwitted the dragon by having him fly around the world a couple of times and do other outrageous things. When he finally finished all of her tasks, he dropped down into an exhausted heap and fell into a very deep sleep (and possibly into the same realm that Sleeping Beauty dwells in). The princess, exhausted and weary and covered with dragon breath, went to rescue her prince in distress. The prince, still bleary-eyed and upset about his losses, took one look at the princess and turned up his nose, announcing that he shall not be rescued until she looked more princess-y and better suited his tastes. At this point, the princess realized what a jerk the prince was, and ditched his sorry ass. She lived happily ever after with her best friend, Jennifer.
The end.
The moral of the story? (There are two!)
1. If he's a materialistic jerk, don't waste your time.
2. Don't use paper or plastic bags - get reusable ones from IKEA!
Paper bags are actually worse than plastic bags when it comes to the environment. They generate 70% more air and 50 times more water pollutants than plastic bags, and take 84 times more energy to recycle than a plastic bag. The best thing to do would be to avoid both plastic and paper bags, and opt for a reusable bag!
Do your part to get rid of the superficial idiots in the world, and help save the environment too!
May 3, 2009
Enlightening Thought #24
After partying it up at the prom last night, I was thinking today of just how much I wished my date would've kissed me. Nothing over the top or passionate or anything, but it still would've been nice! I mean, we're not dating, but, it would've been the perfect ending to a perfect night...
But no...
Also, after talking to a guy friend about his prom experience, he mentioned that he thought that his date was expecting a kiss from him. But that he didn't think he had the balls to do it. He said that he was too busy debating whether or not to kiss her that by the time he figured that he should... the moment had passed.
That said, the point of the story is this:
And of course, this doesn't merely apply to such trivial matters as kisses and dances, but to subjects of far greater importance. You know, college, careers, serious relationships, all of those things.
You see, by the time you realize that you have an opportunity, it'd be too late.
But no...
Also, after talking to a guy friend about his prom experience, he mentioned that he thought that his date was expecting a kiss from him. But that he didn't think he had the balls to do it. He said that he was too busy debating whether or not to kiss her that by the time he figured that he should... the moment had passed.
That said, the point of the story is this:
Don't wait for opportunities. Make them.
And of course, this doesn't merely apply to such trivial matters as kisses and dances, but to subjects of far greater importance. You know, college, careers, serious relationships, all of those things.
You see, by the time you realize that you have an opportunity, it'd be too late.
Enlightening Thought #23
Like Jennifer said, sorry for the delay.
(As if people were dying for us to update, right?)
So, the Swine flu epidemic has reached Canton, Michigan. Swine, because Pig flu just sounds silly and would never be able to cause a media sensation. So is that all it is? Just a huge breakout of hysteria? News reports from CNN suggest so. More people die from the normal flu every year than the number of people who have died from Swine flu thus far. The hysteria caused may actually be worse than the flu itself.
Use your judgment and don't flip out too much.
So do you have Swine flu?
http://doihaveswineflu.org/
(As if people were dying for us to update, right?)
So, the Swine flu epidemic has reached Canton, Michigan. Swine, because Pig flu just sounds silly and would never be able to cause a media sensation. So is that all it is? Just a huge breakout of hysteria? News reports from CNN suggest so. More people die from the normal flu every year than the number of people who have died from Swine flu thus far. The hysteria caused may actually be worse than the flu itself.
Use your judgment and don't flip out too much.
So do you have Swine flu?
http://doihaveswineflu.org/
May 1, 2009
Enlightening Thought #22
First things first: Sorry about the delay in posting! Both Juliana and I have been loaded with shit to do lately.
Now, on to the actual blogging:
I was a second violinist for an Arizona regional orchestra. It was a great experience to play with fellow high school musicians who were as talented (if not more) and as passionate about music as I was. We rehearsed through all of Friday and the first half of Saturday and performed Saturday evening. Our repertoire - Suppe's "Poet and Peasant Overture", Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze", and Nelson's "Jubilee".
Anyways, something our conductor and clinician said has still remained with me:
He directed us to "leave a little bit of our soul behind in every orchestra hall we perform in."
Being the cynical pessimist that I am, the first thing that came to my mind was, "But... what if I perform in so many places that I become soul-less?! I need the little bit of a soul that I have!"
And then after performing, I realized the power behind his words. Why half-ass your way through life when you can put forth your best effort? Why live life with apathy when you can have passion?
So, my latest bit of advice is this:
Live with purpose. Live with passion.
Now, on to the actual blogging:
I was a second violinist for an Arizona regional orchestra. It was a great experience to play with fellow high school musicians who were as talented (if not more) and as passionate about music as I was. We rehearsed through all of Friday and the first half of Saturday and performed Saturday evening. Our repertoire - Suppe's "Poet and Peasant Overture", Bach's "Sheep May Safely Graze", and Nelson's "Jubilee".
Anyways, something our conductor and clinician said has still remained with me:
He directed us to "leave a little bit of our soul behind in every orchestra hall we perform in."
Being the cynical pessimist that I am, the first thing that came to my mind was, "But... what if I perform in so many places that I become soul-less?! I need the little bit of a soul that I have!"
And then after performing, I realized the power behind his words. Why half-ass your way through life when you can put forth your best effort? Why live life with apathy when you can have passion?
So, my latest bit of advice is this:
Put your soul into everything you do, no matter what it is.
Live with purpose. Live with passion.
April 28, 2009
Enlightening Thought #21
You know those times when you think in circles?
Oh! Does he like me? Do I like him? Why do I like him? Is it just because I have a chance with him (we're both desperate) or because I genuinely like him? Do I want to date him? Does he want to date me? Am I any good in relationships? What if I botch everything up? AHH!
Or:
Ugh, I'm bored. Woot, I'll watch a movie! Fuck... I'm too bored to watch a movie. Ooh, my friend just sent me a link; he says it's amusing. Damn it all! I'm too bored to click on that link and then pay attention... What do I do? I'm still freaking bored!
Or:
I'm hungry. Wait, I can't eat; I'm too fat. But... I'm hungry! I want sugar! Well, I'll just eat an apple then, that has sugar. Wait, apples aren't filling... I know! I'll eat cookies and ice cream again (lolwut. Logic fail. Cookies and ice cream aren't filling either). No, I can't eat that; I'll just get fatter. But... I'm hungry still! Fuck it all, I'll eat the goddamned cookie. (nomnomnom) I'm still hungry. Time to eat ice cream! (nomnomnom). Hm, too much junk food, I'll balance that with an apple. (nomnomnom).
You think and think and you worry and worry and you question and question until... 5, 10, or 30 minutes of your life has passed by, and yet, you've accomplished absolutely nothing.
You know what you should do instead?
Remember, it truly is possible to think too hard.
Stop. You don't want to hurt yourself.
Oh! Does he like me? Do I like him? Why do I like him? Is it just because I have a chance with him (we're both desperate) or because I genuinely like him? Do I want to date him? Does he want to date me? Am I any good in relationships? What if I botch everything up? AHH!
Or:
Ugh, I'm bored. Woot, I'll watch a movie! Fuck... I'm too bored to watch a movie. Ooh, my friend just sent me a link; he says it's amusing. Damn it all! I'm too bored to click on that link and then pay attention... What do I do? I'm still freaking bored!
Or:
I'm hungry. Wait, I can't eat; I'm too fat. But... I'm hungry! I want sugar! Well, I'll just eat an apple then, that has sugar. Wait, apples aren't filling... I know! I'll eat cookies and ice cream again (lolwut. Logic fail. Cookies and ice cream aren't filling either). No, I can't eat that; I'll just get fatter. But... I'm hungry still! Fuck it all, I'll eat the goddamned cookie. (nomnomnom) I'm still hungry. Time to eat ice cream! (nomnomnom). Hm, too much junk food, I'll balance that with an apple. (nomnomnom).
You think and think and you worry and worry and you question and question until... 5, 10, or 30 minutes of your life has passed by, and yet, you've accomplished absolutely nothing.
You know what you should do instead?
Either act on your gut instinct or simply stop thinking.
Remember, it truly is possible to think too hard.
Stop. You don't want to hurt yourself.
April 27, 2009
Enlightening Thought #20
Sometime in the past two weeks, I decided that I needed a new pair of sunglasses. I headed over to some websites and began browsing through pages upon pages of lenses. Wayfarers looked pretty enticing. They were colorful and bright (summery and sunshiney!)... and had been popular in the 1960's - the same time Converses had become popular. And OMFG, I love Converses. I figured I could just adopt the 60's style or something and leave this century behind.
WRONG.
I ran into a road block when I discovered I couldn't decide between the red and white Wayfarers. So I went to Google and image searched "Wayfarers" to see how different colors looked on different people.
And what was I met with?
THIS.
Is he constipated?
And worse yet...
THIS.
I make duck lips yay. (Actually, I'm not sure which one is worse.)
I felt so scarred. But at least I was saved.
The moral of the story?
Or your face may become permanently stuck in the "D:" position.
WRONG.
I ran into a road block when I discovered I couldn't decide between the red and white Wayfarers. So I went to Google and image searched "Wayfarers" to see how different colors looked on different people.
And what was I met with?
THIS.
Is he constipated?
And worse yet...
THIS.
I make duck lips yay. (Actually, I'm not sure which one is worse.)
I felt so scarred. But at least I was saved.
The moral of the story?
Do a Google search before making any major life decisions.
Or your face may become permanently stuck in the "D:" position.
April 26, 2009
Enlightening Thought #19
As Juliana noted in her comment on Enlightening Thought #17, many of my posts have been rather contradictory. Seventeen advocated hoping for the best, while fifteen was about preparing for the worst. Fifteen was also about the fact that how we tend to be overconfident, while four was about how we have reason to believe in ourselves.
So how exactly are these opposing ideas supposed to help anybody towards becoming a better person?
Very carefully is how. Don't be a mere sheep and obey everything that others say. Use your brain and think about which approach would be best for your circumstances. If somebody tells you to jump, don't ask, "How high?" Rather, think about how you may benefit, compare those benefits with those from a different course of action. Analyse your options, and once again, behave rationally. After all, you don't want to be the subject of this article.
While I aim to bring only the best words of advice to the readers of Fail Thoughts, not everything will apply to you. Some ideas will help more than others.
Don't be like them.
So how exactly are these opposing ideas supposed to help anybody towards becoming a better person?
Very carefully is how. Don't be a mere sheep and obey everything that others say. Use your brain and think about which approach would be best for your circumstances. If somebody tells you to jump, don't ask, "How high?" Rather, think about how you may benefit, compare those benefits with those from a different course of action. Analyse your options, and once again, behave rationally. After all, you don't want to be the subject of this article.
While I aim to bring only the best words of advice to the readers of Fail Thoughts, not everything will apply to you. Some ideas will help more than others.
Use your judgement.
Don't be like them.
Enlightening Thought #18
When I'm at work, the thing I love most is seeing the kids I tutor smile. If you don't know about Kumon, it is a learning center dedicated to stretching young children beyond their mental and cognitive abilities, starting at a very early age. They are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the center, sat down in a chair and forced to do anywhere from 5 - 10 pages of math and reading problems for the bragging rights of their parents. Needless to say, they are usually in a gloomy, miserable and generally unhappy state of mind.
(Notice how even the smiley is not smiling!)
Back when I first started working at Kumon, I despised it. I had an utterly terrible time at work. The kids hated the packets, the bosses hated me, I hated the lack of contribution I seemed to be making, and it all added up to a less than unrewarding experience.
(They usually don't look this happy...)
As time passed, however, I learned to appreciate the children. While the other kids were biking with their friends on Friday nights, these kids were stuck here doing math problems with me. I know I can never make up for the lost hours of their childhood, but I try my best to make them happy. I try to communicate with them, listen to them tell me about their day, share jokes, and give them something to laugh about in the bleak half an hour that they spend at the center.
And I've realized that it doesn't take that much to make people smile. A little goodness can go a long way as each little piece adds up. Instead of being a silent, monotonous statue all the time,
Seeing the kids smile gives me something to smile about, and realizing that the time they spend with me is not all torture and waste makes my job that much more pleasant and rewarding. Even if you don't think it's a lot to listen to someone's stories or share a friendly laugh, it can make their day just a little bit better and brighter to try.
(Notice how even the smiley is not smiling!)
Back when I first started working at Kumon, I despised it. I had an utterly terrible time at work. The kids hated the packets, the bosses hated me, I hated the lack of contribution I seemed to be making, and it all added up to a less than unrewarding experience.
(They usually don't look this happy...)
As time passed, however, I learned to appreciate the children. While the other kids were biking with their friends on Friday nights, these kids were stuck here doing math problems with me. I know I can never make up for the lost hours of their childhood, but I try my best to make them happy. I try to communicate with them, listen to them tell me about their day, share jokes, and give them something to laugh about in the bleak half an hour that they spend at the center.
And I've realized that it doesn't take that much to make people smile. A little goodness can go a long way as each little piece adds up. Instead of being a silent, monotonous statue all the time,
Try to brighten up someone's day.
Seeing the kids smile gives me something to smile about, and realizing that the time they spend with me is not all torture and waste makes my job that much more pleasant and rewarding. Even if you don't think it's a lot to listen to someone's stories or share a friendly laugh, it can make their day just a little bit better and brighter to try.
Enlightening Thought #17
This post took forever to write. Why? Because I couldn't think of any new experiences that met the two unspoken blog requirements of Fail Thoughts:
(Yum, delicious!)
Or is there nothing in my life that I may laugh at? Is my life so goddamned sucky that there is no reason to crack even the slightest smile?
Is everything wonderful, or is everything terrible?
Well, to answer the (rhetorical) question, it's obviously a mix between the two. Just today, I smiled and I cried. (Oh, the wonderful hormones of a woman!) The scale may shift towards one end one day, but move towards the other at a different moment.
But that leads me to another question; which extreme is life closer to?
And to answer that question, I have no idea. However, I do know which life I would prefer, and that would be a joy-filled life where I have reason to laugh. Yes, this is unrealistic. Hopefully though, the simple act of keeping this ideal in mind will help tip the balance away from the black doom of the other.
Thus, to close this long-winded ramble, your newest enlightening thought is this:
- That it is about a shittily universal experience.
- That it is written from a somewhat humorous perspective.
(Yum, delicious!)
Or is there nothing in my life that I may laugh at? Is my life so goddamned sucky that there is no reason to crack even the slightest smile?
Is everything wonderful, or is everything terrible?
Well, to answer the (rhetorical) question, it's obviously a mix between the two. Just today, I smiled and I cried. (Oh, the wonderful hormones of a woman!) The scale may shift towards one end one day, but move towards the other at a different moment.
But that leads me to another question; which extreme is life closer to?
And to answer that question, I have no idea. However, I do know which life I would prefer, and that would be a joy-filled life where I have reason to laugh. Yes, this is unrealistic. Hopefully though, the simple act of keeping this ideal in mind will help tip the balance away from the black doom of the other.
Thus, to close this long-winded ramble, your newest enlightening thought is this:
Hope for happier days, and you will receive happier days.
April 25, 2009
Enlightening Thought #16
With a site titled "fail thoughts," I figured we should address failure more often. Many of the thoughts on here actually result in fail, but never do we bring up anything that is already fail. Enjoy.
[Images courtesy of failblog]
[Images courtesy of failblog]
April 23, 2009
Enlightening Thought #15
In light of recent events, I feel a need to address Enlightened Thought #4. Actually, this is more of an off-shoot from the earlier blog than a counter-post.
So, a few months ago, I had applied for a prestigious summer research internship. I was contacted for an interview, and upon leaving the lab, I felt that I was extremely qualified for the position. After all, I had prior research experience, I knew how to use all of the tools in the lab, I had top-notch numbers, and I was going to Caltech, for heaven's sake!
And then, I checked the mail:
I was rejected.
The letter of consolation said that I should be proud of being in the top third of applicants. Top third? 33%?! I should be proud of that? I've been in the top 5% of everything my entire life! I'm the goddamn Batman!
That letter opened the floodgates for a chain reaction of self-doubt. I thought, "What if I'm not really that great? What if this is a sign of failure? What if I never end up achieving my dreams?"
Thankfully, the answer miraculously appeared:
Sooner or later, your lucky streak will end, and you don't want all of your doors locked shut.
Not everybody will always think that you're a piece of HOT shit.
So, a few months ago, I had applied for a prestigious summer research internship. I was contacted for an interview, and upon leaving the lab, I felt that I was extremely qualified for the position. After all, I had prior research experience, I knew how to use all of the tools in the lab, I had top-notch numbers, and I was going to Caltech, for heaven's sake!
And then, I checked the mail:
I was rejected.
The letter of consolation said that I should be proud of being in the top third of applicants. Top third? 33%?! I should be proud of that? I've been in the top 5% of everything my entire life! I'm the goddamn Batman!
That letter opened the floodgates for a chain reaction of self-doubt. I thought, "What if I'm not really that great? What if this is a sign of failure? What if I never end up achieving my dreams?"
Thankfully, the answer miraculously appeared:
Don't be overconfident. Expect and prepare for the worst.
Sooner or later, your lucky streak will end, and you don't want all of your doors locked shut.
Not everybody will always think that you're a piece of HOT shit.
April 21, 2009
Enlightening Thought #14
People today live in the fast lane. We live in a world where we're always rushing to start something, rushing to finish something, rushing to get somewhere, and rushing to leave somewhere. There's simply always more that we need to do.
People today live life loud (damn, that's some nice alliteration right there!). There's always somebody saying something to us, some sort of noise in the background (construction, traffic, or that person who just won't stop nagging at us...), music playing, or something. Anything.
The only chance we have to slow and quiet down is in those few minutes before sleep. Even then, our thoughts are usually rushing around in our mind, reminding us of the shitton of stuff that we have to attempt to accomplish tomorrow.
As a result, we lead stressed, hectic, frazzled, and all-around unhappy lives.
And so, to right this terrible wrong, and to make life calmer and smoother, I offer to you the following piece of wisdom:
No metal, no pop, no indie, etc. Don't listen to anything where any words and lyrics are actually understandable.
Granted, you won't be in complete silence, but this will be the closest to catharsis as you'll ever get.
My own personal suggestions include: Sigur Ros (Post-rock), Radiohead (Experimental rock), Ravel (Classical), and Saint-Saens (also Classical).
People today live life loud (damn, that's some nice alliteration right there!). There's always somebody saying something to us, some sort of noise in the background (construction, traffic, or that person who just won't stop nagging at us...), music playing, or something. Anything.
The only chance we have to slow and quiet down is in those few minutes before sleep. Even then, our thoughts are usually rushing around in our mind, reminding us of the shitton of stuff that we have to attempt to accomplish tomorrow.
As a result, we lead stressed, hectic, frazzled, and all-around unhappy lives.
And so, to right this terrible wrong, and to make life calmer and smoother, I offer to you the following piece of wisdom:
Listen to soothing music.
No metal, no pop, no indie, etc. Don't listen to anything where any words and lyrics are actually understandable.
Granted, you won't be in complete silence, but this will be the closest to catharsis as you'll ever get.
My own personal suggestions include: Sigur Ros (Post-rock), Radiohead (Experimental rock), Ravel (Classical), and Saint-Saens (also Classical).
Enlightening Thought #13
Today, instead of plugging in the ear buds to my Zune and listening to my newest music downloads, I dug out my CD player. I slipped in an old mix CD a friend had made for me in middle school, and turned the volume up.
As I listened to the notes, the memories began to rush back into my head. Networks of connections that had been left untouched for years lit up once again in my mind, and the notes tightened and pulled on a strand of my heart. The rhythms reverberated through my body as the visualizations took me back to the innocent sunsets and magnificent fireworks of the summer before high school.
At first, I was afraid to let go of the present. What was in the here and now, I could deal with. The past was so distant and delicate that even the thought of it could drive painful stakes into the path of my life. It was not somewhere I wanted to go, nor did I want the memories to make me weak in the present.
But then I settled back and just let the memories flow through me. It was a wonderful feeling. The past is a part of who I am and always will be. Reminiscence can make me weak, but the lessons and wisdom will make me strong. It is my experiences that make up who I am, and the experiences that I must accept in order to be capable of living in the present and moving into the future.
And so I realized that
Because the experiences we have are what make us unique and different, but also what connect us to the larger context of humanity. The present is just the departure of the past and the arrival of the future. Our memories are a part of who we are.
As I listened to the notes, the memories began to rush back into my head. Networks of connections that had been left untouched for years lit up once again in my mind, and the notes tightened and pulled on a strand of my heart. The rhythms reverberated through my body as the visualizations took me back to the innocent sunsets and magnificent fireworks of the summer before high school.
At first, I was afraid to let go of the present. What was in the here and now, I could deal with. The past was so distant and delicate that even the thought of it could drive painful stakes into the path of my life. It was not somewhere I wanted to go, nor did I want the memories to make me weak in the present.
But then I settled back and just let the memories flow through me. It was a wonderful feeling. The past is a part of who I am and always will be. Reminiscence can make me weak, but the lessons and wisdom will make me strong. It is my experiences that make up who I am, and the experiences that I must accept in order to be capable of living in the present and moving into the future.
And so I realized that
It's okay to lose yourself in your past once in a while.
Because the experiences we have are what make us unique and different, but also what connect us to the larger context of humanity. The present is just the departure of the past and the arrival of the future. Our memories are a part of who we are.
April 20, 2009
Enlightening Thought #12
Today's 4/20, the day of revelry for potheads! Today's also a Monday, the day of my weekly piano lesson.
Prior to my lesson, I'd been extremely sleepy and grumpy, and I simply was in a flat-out bad mood. But after an hour of musical goodness (granted, most of it was filled with my teacher pointing out mistakes...), I felt whole enough. Happy and free. I was riding my own natural high.
The point of this brief post?
Don't do drugs.
Now, I'm off to enjoy some more music. You should be too!
Prior to my lesson, I'd been extremely sleepy and grumpy, and I simply was in a flat-out bad mood. But after an hour of musical goodness (granted, most of it was filled with my teacher pointing out mistakes...), I felt whole enough. Happy and free. I was riding my own natural high.
The point of this brief post?
Don't do drugs.
Get high off of music.
Now, I'm off to enjoy some more music. You should be too!
April 19, 2009
Enlightening Thought #11
Last year, I read the book Siddhartha, which is about a little Indian boy who goes on a spiritual journey in search of enlightenment. When he first left his home, he joined a band of ascetics traveling through his village. Asceticism is the act of depriving oneself of life's worldly pleasures, which includes everything from sex and alcohol to food and clothing.
Why would anyone do that to themselves? Imagine yourself in this situation. You would probably be begging for a TV break and pissing and moaning about how you need to check your facebook in case you have some new notifications. Feeling real enlightened by that "which superhero are you" quiz yet?
In reality, asceticism is not about the pain caused by these deprivations, but the obstacles caused by indulgence that are in the way of ultimate spiritual freedom. It is the process of overcoming the material world.
I'm not going to say that this is true all the time, or for all things, but this is what I have concluded:
Why would anyone do that to themselves? Imagine yourself in this situation. You would probably be begging for a TV break and pissing and moaning about how you need to check your facebook in case you have some new notifications. Feeling real enlightened by that "which superhero are you" quiz yet?
In reality, asceticism is not about the pain caused by these deprivations, but the obstacles caused by indulgence that are in the way of ultimate spiritual freedom. It is the process of overcoming the material world.
I'm not going to say that this is true all the time, or for all things, but this is what I have concluded:
Only when you have nothing, can you truly appreciate everything.
Pretty good, eh? Someone should quote me.
Enlightening Thought #10
Ever since I read Enlightening Thought #9, I've experienced a drainage of inspiration, witty ideas, and flashes of brilliance. The cause? Juliana jinxed both of us writers, the readers, and everybody else who aims for perfection.
Yes, she jinxed it.
No, it's most definitely not my fault... because nothing's ever my fault! It's always somebody else's problem. Somebody else caused it; somebody else needs to fix it. I'll just laze around on the sidelines and then reap all of the benefits.
I can't write because failthoughts is jinxed. Or maybe it's fate! Or perhaps God's condemning us all for being the sinners we all are! Whatever happens, it's not my fault.
Is that your attitude towards life? That you're being victimized by society? That fate is screwing you over? That you always have terrible luck? That God's not hearing your pleas and prayers? If it is, you're screwing yourself over. It's not fate; it's you.
Instead of blaming others and pointing fingers, look in the mirror at your reflection, see your lack of initiative.
Then...
Yes, she jinxed it.
No, it's most definitely not my fault... because nothing's ever my fault! It's always somebody else's problem. Somebody else caused it; somebody else needs to fix it. I'll just laze around on the sidelines and then reap all of the benefits.
I can't write because failthoughts is jinxed. Or maybe it's fate! Or perhaps God's condemning us all for being the sinners we all are! Whatever happens, it's not my fault.
Is that your attitude towards life? That you're being victimized by society? That fate is screwing you over? That you always have terrible luck? That God's not hearing your pleas and prayers? If it is, you're screwing yourself over. It's not fate; it's you.
Instead of blaming others and pointing fingers, look in the mirror at your reflection, see your lack of initiative.
Then...
Take action.
April 18, 2009
Enlightening Thought #9
I've sat around, trying to come up with something enlightening to share all day. After a few hours, I am still here, staring at a blank page. 5 minutes away from rolling into bed, with shitloads of homework to do.
Here's my piece of wisdom for today. If you're out of inspiration and tired as hell, just remember this:
You might hurt yourself.
Here's my piece of wisdom for today. If you're out of inspiration and tired as hell, just remember this:
Don't think too hard.
You might hurt yourself.
Enlightening Thought #8
I just finished talking to a friend about relationships, especially about our experiences from high school dating. After telling him about a guy I dated in my sophomore year and about a few of the almost-relationships I've had since, he asks me, "Why do women always fall for the philanderers?"
... Why indeed? Why do we not learn from our mistakes and quit falling for the players, for the cheaters, and for the assholes? Why do we not go off and date the nice guys?
Because we're women. Flighty, manipulative, and overly superficial. Enough said.
Haha, just kidding.
It's because, instead of listening to logic, reason, and the sound advice from our closest friends, we tend to disregard their words and choose to follow our heart and its yearnings instead...
And so, to advise you along your path towards enlightenment and nirvana:
... Why indeed? Why do we not learn from our mistakes and quit falling for the players, for the cheaters, and for the assholes? Why do we not go off and date the nice guys?
Because we're women. Flighty, manipulative, and overly superficial. Enough said.
Haha, just kidding.
It's because, instead of listening to logic, reason, and the sound advice from our closest friends, we tend to disregard their words and choose to follow our heart and its yearnings instead...
And so, to advise you along your path towards enlightenment and nirvana:
Learn from your mistakes by looking at things rationally.
April 16, 2009
Enlightening Thought #7
OK, I'll admit it; I'm a complainer. I complain about everything, from having too much homework to being bored and having nothing to do. From being fat to being hungry. From being lonely to being hated. Etc etc.
So if you're anything like me, here's some advice that I, too, need to follow: Nobody likes complainers. And if you're so damned passionate and vocal about how much your life sucks, then get off your fat ass go do something!
If you have too much homework, shut up and start plowing away at it. If you have nothing to do, go help out around the house. If you're fat, then go jog! If you're hungry, use your common sense and eat something.
I will reiterate. If you feel lonely and/or hated, now you know why. You complain. Either suck it up and deal with it or, even better,
So if you're anything like me, here's some advice that I, too, need to follow: Nobody likes complainers. And if you're so damned passionate and vocal about how much your life sucks, then get off your fat ass go do something!
If you have too much homework, shut up and start plowing away at it. If you have nothing to do, go help out around the house. If you're fat, then go jog! If you're hungry, use your common sense and eat something.
I will reiterate. If you feel lonely and/or hated, now you know why. You complain. Either suck it up and deal with it or, even better,
Shut the fuck up and change yourself.
Enlightening Thought #6
Are you one of those people who post n (n>100) facebook statuses per hour? Do you enjoy torturing others with the boredom of your minute-to-minute activities?
Here's a piece of advice for you:
And in this case, it's just about everything that you feel the urge to post on your wall about.
John Smith is bored.
John Smith is really bored.
John Smith needs something to do.
John Smith is leaving the computer.
John Smith likes the weather.
John Smith has an itch in his ear.
John Smith is tying his shoelaces.
John Smith is eating tape.
John Smith updates his status too damn much.
Same with those melodramatic, over-the-top statuses.
Joe Smith just had the worst day ever and is going to slit his wrists now k thx bye!
Joe Smith feels like the world just ended and he needs a fucking break from his fucking life!
Joe Smith just had the worst hour ever - his stupid sister stole his stupid math book and won't give it back. His math homework isn't due for two weeks but he really needs something to complain about. Life is stupid.
Joe Smith is sick of life and is going to deactivate his facebook if no one likes this status!
Here's the thing. Upon reading your statuses, those who don't give a shit still won't give a shit. Those who give a shit are probably creepers tracking your every move. They probably also know where you live, have your 11 digit number memorized backwards, and stand outside your window with night vision goggles at 3 in the morning. Do you really want those people knowing every detail of your life?
So what's the upside to all this? There is none. Posting a status about something insignificant that happened to you does not automatically make it significant. No one really gives a shit whether you're eating tacos or burritos, and no one cares if you need to defecate.
Please find something more useful to do with your life. k thx bye.
Here's a piece of advice for you:
There are some things you just keep to yourself.
And in this case, it's just about everything that you feel the urge to post on your wall about.
John Smith is bored.
John Smith is really bored.
John Smith needs something to do.
John Smith is leaving the computer.
John Smith likes the weather.
John Smith has an itch in his ear.
John Smith is tying his shoelaces.
John Smith is eating tape.
John Smith updates his status too damn much.
Same with those melodramatic, over-the-top statuses.
Joe Smith just had the worst day ever and is going to slit his wrists now k thx bye!
Joe Smith feels like the world just ended and he needs a fucking break from his fucking life!
Joe Smith just had the worst hour ever - his stupid sister stole his stupid math book and won't give it back. His math homework isn't due for two weeks but he really needs something to complain about. Life is stupid.
Joe Smith is sick of life and is going to deactivate his facebook if no one likes this status!
Here's the thing. Upon reading your statuses, those who don't give a shit still won't give a shit. Those who give a shit are probably creepers tracking your every move. They probably also know where you live, have your 11 digit number memorized backwards, and stand outside your window with night vision goggles at 3 in the morning. Do you really want those people knowing every detail of your life?
So what's the upside to all this? There is none. Posting a status about something insignificant that happened to you does not automatically make it significant. No one really gives a shit whether you're eating tacos or burritos, and no one cares if you need to defecate.
Please find something more useful to do with your life. k thx bye.
Enlightening Thought #5
A few nights ago, Jenn and I sat here trying to come up with a good name for this blog. We started out with things like "daily dose of enlightenment" and "enlightening thought of the day," eventually making our way up (or down) to "fail thoughts." What the hell were we thinking? Honestly, we just wanted to finish this and go eat cake, so we threw all that fancy schmancy shiz in the tagline, which no one ever reads. We thought we did pretty well.
Moral of the story?
Because no one needs a name that is the equivalent of giving a literary blowjob to a blog with an oversized dick.
Moral of the story?
Keep it simple.
Because no one needs a name that is the equivalent of giving a literary blowjob to a blog with an oversized dick.
April 15, 2009
Enlightening Thought #4
After gorging myself with junk food and sweets today, I felt absolutely gross and started complaining to a friend--"I'm fat! I'm ugly! AHH!" And then he responded, "At least you're cool."
And so, on those days when you feel like utter shit, remember this: no matter how terrible you may look, somebody, somewhere, thinks that
So while you may look and feel like a piece of shit, at least somebody out there thinks that you're HOT shit.
And so, on those days when you feel like utter shit, remember this: no matter how terrible you may look, somebody, somewhere, thinks that
You are pretty damn cool.
So while you may look and feel like a piece of shit, at least somebody out there thinks that you're HOT shit.
Enlightening Thought #3
After a failed attempt to cook with my family this past Easter, I resigned to watching my mom chop onions while I beat eggs instead. As my eyes filled up with tears from the seemingly endless onion pile, I had my amazing thought of the day:
Nothing too complicated here.
Both make you bawl your eyes out for no good reason, and each time you peel off another layer, you think you're getting closer to the secrets of life. But what do you get instead?
The same damn thing.
There's your enlightening thought of the day.
Life is like an onion.
Nothing too complicated here.
Both make you bawl your eyes out for no good reason, and each time you peel off another layer, you think you're getting closer to the secrets of life. But what do you get instead?
The same damn thing.
There's your enlightening thought of the day.
Enlightening Thought #2
So it's nearing midnight, which normally isn't late for me (but that's just because I have a terrible sleep schedule). And all these thoughts are running through my mind...
And then, an epiphany:
Those thoughts about your upcoming interview, AP exams, prom, taxes, walking the dog, dropping the kids off at daycare... Ignore them. Empower (and enlighten) yourself and sleep for once! (It isn't only for the weak).
So, I guess it's time for me to take my own advice.
And then, an epiphany:
Sometimes, you just have to let go.
Those thoughts about your upcoming interview, AP exams, prom, taxes, walking the dog, dropping the kids off at daycare... Ignore them. Empower (and enlighten) yourself and sleep for once! (It isn't only for the weak).
So, I guess it's time for me to take my own advice.
April 14, 2009
Enlightening Thought #1
The insight that kicked it off.
While sitting on a bus to Boston, close to midnight and after a hectic day, I started to doze off. A movie with bright flashes of lime green, neon pink, and zebra was playing on the tiny screen above my head. I paid little attention, only semi-interested in the activities taking place in Zoolander. And then one line in the script hit me with surprising clarity.
That's it.
And the best part is, it's pretty much self-explanatory.
While sitting on a bus to Boston, close to midnight and after a hectic day, I started to doze off. A movie with bright flashes of lime green, neon pink, and zebra was playing on the tiny screen above my head. I paid little attention, only semi-interested in the activities taking place in Zoolander. And then one line in the script hit me with surprising clarity.
"There's more to life than just being really, really, ridiculously good looking."
That's it.
And the best part is, it's pretty much self-explanatory.
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